TTL 17
Knowing our thinking style matters
👋 Good Morfternight! Paolo Belcastro here, welcoming you to the seventeenth issue of TTL: Tools & Thoughts for Leaders, your weekly dose of leadership insights.
Recently, a colleague called me a Zen Master. Not because I actually practice zen, but because I happened to mention that talking, for me, is like meditating. What I mean by that is that talking is how I identify, acknowledge, and eventually let go, negative thoughts and feelings.
She laughed and said that if conversation is my meditation, I must be a real guru—since I could go on for hours! Honestly, she’s not wrong; when I get started, I can talk my way through an entire maze of ideas.
Today, we’re diving into the fascinating world of thinking styles and the way they shape how we work, talk, and sometimes completely miss the mark in understanding each other.
How we think
The topic of inner speech recently sparked a lively conversation on Twitter after this post was shared. 👇
The surprise for me wasn’t in the post itself, but in the responses.
It turns out, people were genuinely shocked to learn that not everyone hears a constant inner voice narrating their thoughts.
As you might have imagined, I’m one of those people: my ideas don’t take shape until I put them into words—it’s like they exist as hazy blobs floating around in the mental mist. Not words. Not images. Just… concepts.
Ideas are abstract until I speak them, and suddenly, they snap into focus.
This is why I say that talking is my form of meditation.
One example of this is counting. When I count silently in my head, there’s no voice narrating the numbers—only if I count out loud, I hear them clearly.
In a BBC video series, physicist Richard Feynman explains this fascinating difference in how people count internally, which impacts how they handle simultaneous tasks. Some visualize an inner clock ticking away, while others “hear” each second passing as if they’re counting aloud.
This variation means that each person is affected differently by external distractions. For instance, someone who visualizes a clock might be able to keep counting while listening to music, while someone who relies on an inner voice may find it harder to concentrate on two auditory tasks at once.
And the best part is, he found out while counting socks.
It’s fascinating to realize that there’s no “normal” way to think. We each have a unique inner experience, shaped by how our brains are wired to process and represent information. This experiment is a reminder that our minds don’t just differ in content but in structure, fundamentally altering how we interpret and interact with the world around us.
Thinkers who talk and Talkers who think
I’ll be honest: working with people whose thinking styles differ from mine hasn’t always been easy.
The realization came during a one-on-one conversation in New Orleans, several years ago. I was excitedly running through a series of options for a project, jumping from one idea to the next, when my colleague mentioned struggling to follow my train of thought, and that she’d have much preferred I first reached a conclusion, then shared it.
Later, I mentioned this experience to another colleague, who recommended an article from First Company. As I read it, everything clicked, and I thought, This is precisely what’s been happening.
When it comes to processing thoughts, most people tend to lean towards one of two camps: Think to Talk or Talk to Think.
- Think to Talk: You Thinkers prefer to internally organize thoughts and reach conclusions before sharing anything. Like putting together a puzzle in private, you want to make sure each piece is in place before you bring it out to the world.
- Talk to Think: We, Talkers (yep, that’s me!) need to say things out loud to even know what we think. Conversations are our canvas, and it’s only by speaking that we find the clarity we’re looking for.
Naturally, these styles can lead to some interesting misunderstandings.
A Think to Talk-er might see a Talk to Think-er as scattered, all over the place, erratic (because we can throw out a dozen ideas a minute).
Meanwhile, the Talk to Think-er might view the Think to Talk-er as secretive, withholding information for some nefarious motive.
Understanding each other’s styles helps smooth communication and saves a lot of time, making it essential to understand who you’re working with—or to create a personal user manual to bridge the gap! 😉
Transcribing my way to better conversations
Recognizing my communication style has been essential for me.
At Automattic, we use P2, an internal network of blogs for everything from company-wide announcements, to team discussions, from project updates to water cooler conversations. When I first joined, my posts were… let’s call them “thorough.” They were long, detailed, and, as a few colleagues politely pointed out, maybe a bit too exhaustive.
Over time, I realized that for my communication to be truly effective, I’d have to learn to distill my thoughts and cut down on the non-essential parts.
I am pleased to report that although I still have some progress to make, I am now in the 30% of most succinct writers in Automattic… 😉
Over time, I’ve gotten better at condensing my ideas when I write.
Speaking, though, is still a work in progress. Cutting down on words in real-time is harder for me, as that’s how I crystallize my thoughts.
Using AI to transcribe conversations underscored this for me in a rather blunt way. It turns out, I sometimes take up over 90% of a conversation.
Yes, I am getting some help… 😉
What shapes our mind
It’s incredible how many factors shape our minds—like an AI’s “black box,” we can’t always see the processes that brought us to think the way we do.
This reminds me of a TED Talk by Lera Boroditsky, a linguist who explored the impact of language on thought. She explained how language shapes perception— from grammatical gender, to sentence construction, to vocabulary.
For example, in Spanish, the word for “bridge” is masculine, so native speakers tend to describe it as sturdy and strong. In German, however, “bridge” is feminine, so German speakers often describe it as graceful or delicate.
The language you speak can shape how you perceive objects, just as culture and values do.
I see this influence of language clearly in my daughters and their friends. They attended The Lycée Français of Vienna, a school where most students speak at least three languages: French, as that’s taught in the school, German, as we are in Austria, and English as many prefer it to the other two. It’s fascinating to watch them switch seamlessly between languages in a single conversation, whenever a word is more precise in one language than the others.
I frequently marvel at their ability to see the world’s different aspects because of these linguistic and cultural experiences—and how these things will continue to shape their minds as they grow.
Our thoughts are woven from countless threads: language, culture, and the unique paths we each walk.
That’s it for today.
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Here on TTL, we dig into practical leadership tips and effective strategies, with a particular focus on tech leadership and managing distributed teams (that’s what I do every day, add me on LinkedIn).
Whether you’re steering a tech startup or leading a remote team, these insights are designed to help you navigate the complexities of modern leadership.
I also publish on paolo.blog and monochrome.blog
Cheers,
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